2009. What a lame year. However the only reason I’m holding on to it as we transition into the last year of the decade (2011 is the next decade, not 2010.) is because ‘09 feels much more comfortable than the uncertain future residing in oh-ten.
Events that happened this year? Off the top of my head, I can think of appreciating art more, cursing society, and listening to some pretty good music. Year of UUVVWWZ, Girls, The XX, Lisa Mitchell, Passion Pit, with Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros? I think so.
What’s funny about this night where we welcome the new year, I had a dream the night before about what once was a long, long time ago. It was like the thoughts I’ve recently been mulling over took pity on me and transformed themselves into dream form— they could never make the real thing, but semi-real was the best they had to offer.
The dream was like watching from the view of a camcorder, an old memory that felt so much like it really did happen, because it was so happy and carefree it just fit right into the blank spots of the past I so fondly remember. My friends and I were sitting on the beach, playing around next to a small beach house that was the size of a children’s playground. There weren’t any boundaries between any of us, we didn’t care who we were, the moment was just full of pure enjoyment and love. Some of us started to climb the roof of the tiny beach house, few others just watched amused as they tried to reach the top without falling off onto the sand. We laughed and laughed, and soon they were all on the roof, crowded shoulder-to-shoulder and gripping onto the shingles. I was about the last person to get on the house and I started to climb, but I stopped because I saw the foundations shake from everyone being pushed off and trying to get back up. I couldn’t keep the ‘camcorder’ still because I was shaking so much from the laughter.
When I woke up I felt worse than I had been for the whole year. The dream gift given to me felt more like stab in the heart than the pity present it was supposed to be.
2009 was a jerk, but 2010 feels like it’s gonna be hell. I can only hope it holds even better music.
Edit: Just downloaded a Girls CD. Hellhole Rat Race pretty much sums it all up perfectly. “I’m sick and tired of the way that I feel. I’m always dreaming and it’s never for real. I’m all alone with my deep thoughts, I’m all alone with my heartache and my good intentions… I don’t wanna cry my whole life through, I want to do some laughin’ too. So come on, come on, come on, laugh with me…”